Earlier last month, the NHRA conducted a sample survey of about 1,000
of its members. Apparently all the complaining about dwindling
attendance at races began to reach the upper echelons of the majestic
NHRA board. Obviously, they don't get it because the only question
asked had to do with running the 1320 v 1000 feet. Really? 320 feet is
causing a decline in the greatest motorsport of them all? I think not.
They missed the point by not asking an open-ended question. What they
should have asked is, "Why do you enjoy coming to the races?" I'm sure more
than a few would have answered, "jet cars", but an equal number would
have answered, "Because it's only $20 to get in and the kids are free";
"The prices are reasonable at the concession stand"; "There were 20
nitro funny cars!"; "Free posters that all the drivers will sign and the
crew members talk to you between rounds"; best of all..."My dad took me
as a kid and I want my kids to experience the excitement of drag
racing like I did as a child". Of course this would have only happened if they were asking fans
attending one of the NHRA Heritage Series races this past season.
In 2013, the price of a general admission ticket (that's a non-reserved
seat) for the final day of QUALIFYING at a NHRA Mello Yellow national
event was $55....That's right; Fifty-five bucks and this isn't even RACE DAY! Granted, at many events
kids 12 and under get in free, but that cost is quickly unrealized what with
$8.00 hot dogs, $10.00 parking, $12.00 beers and $30.00 t-shirts. A day
at the races for a family of four can easily add up to close to $175 -
$200; and this isn't even with good seats. Throw in a couple of
lengthy oil downs and the droning of the all-day, GEICO ass-clowns and I don't blame them for not coming back; the value
just isn't there.
In the quest to grow the fan base of
the NHRA; the most important element of doing so was left out -
entertainment value. Gone are the brash personalities of drivers -
spouting off whatever comes to mind; even John Force is PR scrubbed clean these days. Gone are the long smokey burnouts and warm-up
throttle blips. They've been eliminated because of equipment costs and
alternative car set ups. Dry hops? Dead for decades. Nothing for kids
to do; unless they intend to be recruited by the Army or want to buy a
$300 RC car. Drop a couple of bounce houses in the midway - hell, make
one an adult-only and clothing optional!
Here's one that baffles the heck
out me...night qualifying that doesn't begin later at night. I
understand when you're qualifying at a track that has a curfew - don't
like it, but I understand it. But why for the love of God, do you
finish Friday night qualifying in Las Vegas at 7:00 pm? Are you kidding
me? We don't run our first qualifying lap at any of the Saturday Night
Nitro shows until well after 8:00 pm. Three words - flames from
headers......
So there's no showmanship, shows end
too early, costs too much to take a family....I dunno NHRA; maybe it
really has something to do with that missing 320 feet, but I doubt it. Since this is my blog and no one will read it anyway; here is my plan to bring the NHRA national events back from the brink:
- Slow down the nitro cars. The costs are too high to run them and the average fan doesn't know the difference between 260 and 300 mph anyway. Lower costs allow smaller-budget teams the opportunity to compete with the DSR, JFR juggernaut teams.
- Bring back the 1320. The quarter mile is drag racing; anything else is something else and we'll get used to it; just like we got used to running the 1000 ft.
-Move the nitro pits to the other side of the track and line up the top teams along the track so that fans don't necessarily have to leave the stands to see the crews at work between rounds. Set up crew competitions, similar to NASCAR based on total turn around times and have time clocks visible to the stands. Should an oil down happen; you have another show going on right in front of them. Really emphasize the team work involved; you'd be surprised how many additional sponsorship opportunities can come of this.
- Nicknames for drivers. Snake and Mongoose...... God, the drivers today are these sanitized, corporate, PR robots. Bring back the personalities like Scelzi and "Flaming" Frank Pedregon. I know for a fact that there are some personalities there, but everyone is so afraid of saying the wrong thing that interviews have become boring little sound-bites to keep sponsors and team/car owners happy. Sunshine and rainbows...bullshit! Why not go off on a rant about the snakey bastard you're facing in the first round? Talk shit about his crew chief or mama....choose a side racing fans!
- Night qualifying - mandatory. Almost every race we ran this season had a Friday night under the lights qualifier. It wasn't until we ran the CHRR (NHRA Museum operated) event that we finished the day before 7:00pm. Fans come out to see the header flames and experience the horsepower; plus, what a great first-time date night!
- Put a Bowser, a New, and a Bader on the NHRA board. These SHOWS need to be SHOWS again and these families that own/operate their respective tracks know how to do it and do it WELL!
- Revise the sportsman classes at national events - quit screwing the base of the membership by shuffling their run times around based on the pro car schedules; these folks work at other jobs for a living and to pay for their hobby/passion. Roll back the price of their entry fees, too. They're sportmen, not sponsors!
- Stop and I mean stop - Parading the stupid season championship trophies around with police escorts at the last races of the season. It's ridiculous. While we're on the topic; why are we giving the trophies to the winners in the shut down area where no fans are? Awarding them again in the winner's circle after they've been broadcast to the fans via monstervision in the stands is beyond anti-climatic; there's no excitement and it's yet another round of sponsor-babble. (Only exception - Rickie Jones - do his twice; or three times as needed. Love that kid!!!)
- Do the live round coverage again. Personally, I loved watching the crews turning the car around during that change to the format in Houston. I thought it was something that was going to be continued and haven't heard anything about it since.
- Replace the bikes with fuel altered cars. More nitro! Besides, why does a bike need 10 people on the starting line? (counted that many in Vegas) 4 wheels - mandatory.
-Kids area in the midway. As mentioned in an earlier blog; unless your kid is going to be recruited by the Army or is planning on purchasing a $300+ RC car, there is nothing for them to do except sit in the stands or vie for driver autographs. Parents need a little break, so throw a couple of bounce houses and climbing structures on the midway - free to use. Have them sponsored if need be and then parents waiting outside of these play areas can be solicited by the bounce house sponsor reps.
-Long, smokey burnouts - bring 'em back! Along with these; bring back the warm-up blip, and dry hops.
-Hold the TRAXXAS shoot out, or whatever it's being called now, at another race besides Indy. Yes, I know that Indy gets the most TV coverage and that's why sponsors want to be a part of it, but if you only have one race that anyone is willing to view, you've screwed yourself on that one NHRA. Change it up so that it becomes a race within a race season and spread it out among more venues. Better yet; make one a crew challenge.
-Shitcan ESPN2. I want a gig where I can charge a sanctioning body millions of dollars a year to broadcast their events - at my discretion with the ability to disregard published schedules in favor of NCAA division III girls college softball consolation loser rounds - in Spanish. This wasn't the worst of it though - we endured a pre-emption of a late season national event broadcast with championship implications, so our "partners" over at ESPN could bring a 10+ hour, rain delayed NASCAR race to it's mighty minions. I get it, more people who watch translates to more advertising dollars to ESPN, who pays NASCAR for the privilege of airing their races. Yep, this all makes sense to me; do I at least get kissed first?
-Hire Chad, Brian and the fellas from BangShift to do the broadcasts. Yes, I realize that they only appeal to drag racing fans......and your point is?
-Do something, anything, to make Pro Stock more fan friendly. Maybe start with opening up the pit areas; when did their pits become these overly tented, secret societies? You can't see anything when you go over to their pits; everything is covered up - including the cars. Nevermind, ProStock doesn't matter anyway....
-Cut back on the boring, sponsor-driveled interviews on the broadcasts. Perfect example of how it killed some great racing was today's finals at Pomona. One of the talking heads was interviewing Morgan Lucas on his move out of the seat. No disrespect to Morgan, but while this was going on, Gary Densham won his second round of racing in nitro funny car; which we got to see on the other side of the screen while Morgan went on about what a great opportunity it's been to drive, etc. I was totally pissed watching it - primarily because it was a great, lower-budget, old-school racer winning a SECOND round and it was missed in favor of an interview. Again, no disrespect to the kid because if it weren't for his family's involvement, lots of racing wouldn't be happening and enjoyed. Props to the Lucas family! You get my point, right?
-Unload Kernan and Howe - No offense, but they aren't racers - they're entertainment reporters and come across as such. If I wanted celebrity gossip, I'd log on to Yahoo OMG! Instead, upload a former crew member with some personality to do pieces with current crew members on pit work or tales from the road if you must interject with entertainment. The "tech talk" pieces that were sprinkled throughout the season were great, but too few. One more saga of this PSM team hates that PSM team and I'm done watching......
-Run 2 pair of Nostalgia Funny Car at every National event. Every. Single. One. - The history of the sport is essential to the growth. An organization or sport that fails to observe and revere its past is doomed to fade away.
- Pro teams - mandatory back up girls. None of the slutty-dressed ho's
either. Look no further than Leeza Diehl or Alice Bode for great
examples. Guys love a pretty gal; bouncing along, backing up a car and
no other motorsports has the unique ability to integrate them into the actual competition.
-Post race concerts/party bands. Hell, if you're going to finish racing for the day at 7:00 pm, at least do something to create more opportunities to sell more nachos and beer. If racing starts later, live music ahead of time - get the excitement going!
-Concession costs - Either bring down the costs or let people bring food in. Holding people hostage to non-competitive rapes at the chow hall isn't very American and decreases attendance because of costs. $5.00 for a bottle of tap water borders on ridiculous, too.
-Ticket prices - As I complained earlier, it's senseless for an organization to expect to grow the attendance when the prices for a non-reserved seat on a qualifying day exceeds $50. The Bowers charge $100 - for a FOUR day ticket at the March Meet. You can't get a seat at Famoso in the grandstands on a Friday afternoon when they run the nitro cars....whereas you can shoot a cannon through the grandstands on Sunday at a national meet during Pro-Stock and not hit a soul.
Enough out of me - back to your regularly scheduled porn.....
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